“I was getting increasingly frustrated and annoyed; I was thinking ‘what’s the point of being alive?’ and being difficult for everybody. I was in a horrible dark place.”

Those were the words of Andover Army veteran David Buddle who went from running marathons to being unable to walk in nine months.

The 71-year-old finished his 22-year-long career in the Queen’s Regiment, 2nd Battalion (Queen’s Own Buffs), in 1992, as a Warrant Officer. He was ‘fortunate’ to be able to walk straight into a civilian job with an export sales company, without undergoing the transitional difficulties experienced by many of his contemporaries.

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He was still a very fit man, participating in rock climbing and running, playing rugby for the Army and football for the Combined Services. However, his life started to change dramatically, when, in 2010, he started to stumble while he was walking.

He recalled: “At first, I didn’t take much notice. I just thought it was me being lazy and not walking correctly. In about 2015, the doctor gave me anti-inflammatories and an ibuprofen course, as I had lots of pains in my legs.

“Two years later I had a major stomach bleed; the main arteries to my liver collapsed, and they said it was because of the high quantity of ibuprofen and anti-inflammatories I was taking. I was told I was lucky to survive. At one stage I lost five pints of blood; blood everywhere, all over the house. it was horrible.”

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He still had the issues with the weakness in his legs and was referred to a specialist in Southampton’s neurological department in late 2017, where he was told he was suffering from CMT – Charcot-Marie-Tooth disease – a nerve and muscle reduction condition. And, two years later, his condition started to deteriorate badly. He couldn’t walk properly or use his hands.

“I was retested and had a lumbar puncture, and, apparently, my immune system was working against me, rather than for me, eating away at the protective sleeves of the nerves,” he said.

“My nerves were exposed to germs and deteriorating. So, in nine months I’d gone from running a marathon to not being able to walk and in chronic pain.”

Not surprisingly, such a rapid deterioration in his physical condition also took a toll on his mental health.

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He added: “I didn’t know what to do. About 2019 I was trying to get help because my mental health was suffering as well. I couldn’t accept why I’d been given this disease. Why me? I wasn’t sleeping, I was in chronic pain. I couldn’t get anybody from the NHS to help get me out of my dark place.

“I couldn’t see the next day. But I didn’t have the guts to take my own life. I did think about how to do it. I’d got to the point with the NHS, that I felt if nobody can help, what’s the point in carrying on. I’m lucky I didn’t go past that point.”

But help was on the horizon, and a chance conversation, in November last year, at a chronic pain support group run by the Andover Primary Care Network, put the wheels in motion.

He added: “I met an occupational therapist (OT), called Helen, who suggested I got in contact with Help for Heroes, as she felt they could help. She referred me to Nikki King, a case manager with the charity, and Nikki called me wanting to know how Help for Heroes could assist.

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“From January this year, I’ve undertaken several courses – the art of sleeping; anxiety; and living with, and beyond, pain. I’ve also taken a course with Patricia in the Hidden Wounds team for my mental health.

“With the support of Nikki, Patricia and these courses, I suppose you could say I’ve been dragged back to my normal self. I reckon I’m 90 per cent better than I was before. I’m beginning to understand what life’s about.

“I’m still suffering from chronic pain, obviously, but I’m now able to manage it and control my mind, when I feel myself starting to slip down again. I can’t praise Help for Heroes highly enough for what they’ve done for me – and my family.

“I was referred by the Primary Care Network OT for an electric wheelchair via the NHS. Help for Heroes has also been supporting me in trying to get funding, working with other agencies, for a mobility vehicle.”

David can move around his house, as he is able support himself on furniture. But walking is limited to the 20 or so yards to his car on the drive. Further than that and his legs give way. He’s unable to walk with sticks as the disease has affected his hands, wrists, and arms. He admits he can’t even open a packet of crisps.

“If it hadn’t been for the meeting I attended I would never have approached Help for Heroes,” he admitted.

“I wasn’t aware of the breadth of services and support it offers. If I hadn’t got the help and support from Help for Heroes, the way I was feeling back in December, I don’t think I’d be here now. I would have taken my own life eventually. I didn’t want to be a burden on my family.

“This is one of the things I learned, working with Patricia. She said to me ‘speak to your family; ask them to write a few lines about how they feel about you’. I was amazed at what my wife and two daughters said in a few sentences: how I was, how I’d gone, and what I meant to them. I didn’t realise they loved me so much. It was eye-watering.

“I realise now that the family cares about me. I don’t know why I didn’t realise it before. Maybe I didn’t want to see it. My brain wouldn’t compute. They were very worried about me because I wasn’t doing well. I was just fixating on being a burden.

“But I’m here, now, and I can’t thank Help for Heroes enough. They’re still there for me now and in the future. Nikki (case manager) is going to call me next week just to check in and make sure I’m ok. They’ve made such a difference to my life.”

Now, David is hopeful his story might persuade other veterans in need of help and support to come forward and contact Help for Heroes – or get a family member to do it for them.

He concluded: “There are a lot of veterans out there in our region – I meet some at breakfast clubs and the like. And I think we need to spread the word that Help for Heroes can and will help. Without them, I don’t think I’d be here now.”

Help for Heroes champions the Armed Forces community and helps them live well after service. The charity helps them, and their families, to recover and get on with their lives. It has already supported more than 27,000 people and won’t stop until every veteran gets the support they deserve.

The charity supports veterans from any branch of the UK military – regulars or reserves – irrespective of length or place of service, and locally embedded civilians (and their families) who worked alongside our Armed Forces.